As-Salaam aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakathu

First Exposure to Islam

My name is Toshiko and I was first exposed to Islam when I was studying Judaism with my Jewish uncle. Every Friday I would go to his home and we would have dinner and then a lesson from the Taurat. It was very very interesting. One day, I learned the story of Ishmael and Isaac. I did not know anything about them at the time. I was intrigued to find out that the Jews and Muslims are related in this way. I never really pursued much from there though and got back into Buddhism again.

Meeting with “Muslims”

Several years later I met some people from Oman and a couple of them started to slowly teach me about Islam and gave me books to read. I read a few and asked questions. I always had felt sorry for the women wearing hijab (the veil) and even more sorry for those that wore full hijab (hijab (the veil), niqab (face veil) and abaya/jelbab (overwear coat)). I thought it was so sad they they were forced to cover their beauty just because the men cannot control themselves!! We discussed this issue a few times but I still had the impression that it was forced on the women. I even fasted Ramadan with them to feel the experience. I was interested in Islam for a short while again but then those same men would go to clubs, drink and curse the women who did “it” while all the time they did “it” themselves. I mistakenly attributed their attitudes as the attitude of Islam and lost interest very quickly.

In fact over the next few years I met very many Muslims and it is too bad that at that time I just believed everything they did was condoned in Islam for the men. I wasn’t finding any good role models to see the truth about Islam. All the men I met were dating, drinking, doing drugs, going out to the clubs and finding women to take home. Yet, the whole time they did nothing but curse the women who did the same. It made me so angry that I did not want anything to do with Islam anymore.

Then one day my friend started dating a Muslim man who was very intensly practincing Islam. He was a bit on the extreme side, though, because everything turned into a conversation about Islam and he constantly criticised my friend for having known so many men and for having dated Muslims before. It was driving her mad and so she asked me to speak to him about his behavior. I tried to get him to understand that harrassing her was getting them nowhere and that he needed to except her for who she is. Then he would go into how us American women as so bad and ranted on about it. Then I started asking him that if he is such a believer in Islam then why he is dating. I asked him if the Qu’ran said that men can do all the things like drinking, clubbing, and drugs and such. He would hesitate and change the subject. We argued about several more subjects and then I finally thought to myself that if the Qur’an is truly the word of God, there is no way that many of his views were condoned. So I started to read the Qur’an.

Culture, not Islam

It wasn’t easy. I had tried to read the Holy Bible before and it was hard to understand. I had to ask a lot of questions to get a clearer picture of what I was reading. But again, because of the translation (it was in Old English) and how hard it was to read I again lost interest. Then one day shortly after, someone gave me another translation that was in modern English and it was so much easier to read. While reading all these emotions I did not understand ran though me. It was amazing. I also noticed that commands were given to both men and women about lowering the gaze and keeping away from adultery and sex before marriage. It was definitely not commanded to only the women. I understood right then that most of the men I knew were practicing their culture, and not Islam. I did not even read that much of it, but I believed it was the word of God.

Meeting Muslims - Again

I started going online and joining message groups and going to Islamic websites. I mainly started to research about Muslim women. I still did not have an understanding of the rights of women and of the protection that hijab gives. I joined a group where we would read some of the Qur’an every few days and I had so many questions but they were all answered and explained to me so well that my belief kept growing. I then started thinking to myself that I could be a Muslim but I just could not fathom myself being able to wear hijab. And so I studied even more and joined a woman’s only message board. I learned so much from them I could never thank them enough. Through speaking with them I wanted to revert but I did not know enough and needed to study more. It’s what I kept telling myself. I finally mentioned it in a couple of message boards and I got so many words of encouragement that so long as I believe that La ilaha il Allah, and Muhammad-ur-Rasool-Allah (There is no God but Allah and Muhammad (Peace Be Unto Him) is His slave and messenger) that I needed nothing else. They told me that no-one knows when their time is up and it is better to die a Muslim than non-Muslim. They also told me that I will never stop learning, that it would be a life-long lesson. I could not deny myself anymore and took Shahada on August 31, 2002. Alhamdullillah Allah guided me to Islam.

Hijab?

I still did not believe that hijab was necessary though, but kept on praying and studying. I kept questioning hijab with many Muslim sisters online and argued with them constantly. But then, one sister told me to keep reading the Qur’an and that Allah does command women to do so. I then learned more and more from these sisters about the protection hijab gives. After reading and studying these verses:

(Surah 24, verses 30-31) “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigor, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed”

(Surah 33, verse 59) “O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them [when they go abroad]. That will be better, that so they may be recognized and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful”

I came to an understanding that hijab is a protection for women. Men are unable to focus on our bodies and can only see and hear our minds. I also came to an understanding that both men and women are responsible for their society around them. Covering protects women from lots of unwanted harrassment and also protects men from getting distracted. I started wearing hijab about a month and a half after taking Shahada and it has been the most wonderful thing I have done for myself. No more cat calls, no more lustful stares, no more feelings of being treated like a piece of meat.

The view ahead

I am so greatful to all the Muslims I have met, even the ones practising their cultures mixed with Islam because I have learned so much. I have a life-long journey of learning about Islam ahead of me and it has been the most wonderful journey in my life.